I was having a conversation today with Stephanie—our Marriage & Family Therapist on staff here at The Vineyard—and we began talking about having healthy rhythms of self-care. I’ve been reflecting on what she said, thinking of how as women we are so often “doing” and not spending enough time “being.”

When is the last time you took time for yourself? That self-care may look different for each woman, but it is important for all women (and all men too). For some, self-care may look like a massage, or perhaps a nice long bath, or time spent in a book, or gardening…you get the idea. When is the last time you just sat with God and prayed? Not just praying for others, but really sat with God and connected with him.

Self-care. If you’ve ever actually listened to those safety talks at the beginning of the plane trip, a part of the talk concerns the oxygen masks that automatically fall in the event of a loss of cabin pressure. When the masks fall you put the mask on your face, tighten the strap and then they try to dispel your fears of the bag not inflating. It doesn’t have to inflate for the oxygen to flow. I get a chuckle as I watch the video screens during safety talk, with everyone sitting very calmly and smiling as they talk about the plane going down.

I’ll get back to my real point. You are told to always put the mask on yourself first before you assist anyone else, even your own child. You can’t help anyone else until you are okay. I’m sure you can see the obvious analogy. You can’t adequately care for others unless you are taking responsibility in caring for yourself.

So, think through what gives you that life-giving “oxygen” and then make a space breathe it in. Take a deep breath, maybe two.

Then you can put the oxygen mask on someone else.